Knowing how to support someone who is grieving does not come naturally and can feel overwhelming, especially if you have never experienced the same feelings or situations yourself. But your presence and care can make all the difference to a friend or loved one who is experiencing grief. If you’re wondering how to help someone who is grieving, these practical tips can guide you.
- Be present – Simply showing up can mean the world. A text saying, “I’m here for you,” or offering to sit in silence can be incredibly comforting.
- Listen without judgment – Grief is different for everyone. Let them express sadness, anger, or confusion without trying to “fix” it.
- Avoid harmful clichés – Phrases like “everything happens for a reason” may minimise their pain. Instead, say, “I can’t imagine how hard this is.”
- Offer practical support – Bring meals, help with errands, or assist with daily tasks. Tangible help is often more meaningful than advice.
- Check in regularly – Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. Continue reaching out weeks and months later. Even if it is just a coffee catch-up, anything to make them feel brighter.
Knowing what to say to someone who is grieving isn’t always easy, but showing up with empathy, patience, and consistency is the most powerful way to support someone who is grieving..
Julie Shepherd, grief specialist, says that when a friend is grieving, you should keep showing up for as long as it takes. Those who are bereaved often lose so much more than the loved one; they lose friendships, too. This is caused by people expecting us to recover and be “back to normal” faster than we can accommodate. Don’t tell the griever how to behave or what to do, just let them talk. It’s not your job to try to fix them, and don’t hold a timescale for them to be back to their old self.